The Darkest Secrets of Celebrities Exposed - #23 is Disturbing!

Jay Dawson December 6th 2016 Entertainment
Poked, prodded, and x-rayed, celebs of today are finding their dark secrets harder and harder to hide. But if secrets were money, these stars would still be filthy rich. Whether it’s strange personality quirks or illicit romances, they’re forever finding new ways to shock us. So before you get all guilty about your skeletons, here’s some dirt that’s far, far, worse.

1. Rihanna

Rihanna had her fair share of misfortune and mistreatment growing up, suffering an extremely unhappy childhood at the hands of her booze and crack-addicted father, Ronald Fenty. But the real shocking secret came a few years later, when Rihanna discovered that her father had been sowing his seed all over town, and that she had three new brothers and sisters. Though some extra family’s not necessarily a bad thing!

2. Megan Fox

If you’re after dirty little secrets, this one’s the filthiest of them all. You see, as adorable and beautiful as Megan Fox is, she’s got one horrible flaw – it's been reported by many that she doesn’t flush the toilet. Yes, we suppose her poop probably don’t stink. But as far as secrets go, we’d rather she had a third nipple or an alien lovechild.

3. Ryan Gosling

We’ve dug long and deep to get some truly scandalous material on Ryan Gosling, and what we’ve found is truly strange. Apparently, he sits down while he pees, walks up his stairs on hands and knees, and sleeps the wrong way around. But listen up, ladies: here’s the worst of all – he waxes his chest a couple of times a month. Freak.

4. Miley Cyrus

Miley doesn’t seem to have much dirty laundry. In fact, based on her usual outfits, she doesn’t seem to have much laundry at all. But thanks to Billy Ray, there’s more than enough family secrets to go around. He had a fling with a South Carolinian waitress while he was seeing Miley’s mother Leticia, resulting in a secret half-brother born the same year as Miley. No word on whether he’s got the same fondness for twerking.

5. Leighton Meester

Gossip Girl beauty Leighton Meester had one seriously humble upbringing. In a textbook example of bad parenting, most of Leighton’s relatives – including her mom – were busted trying to smuggle over 1000 pounds of weed into the States. The thing was, Leighton’s mom was pregnant at the time. With Leighton. There’s nothing like being born in prison to give a girl ambitions.

6. Oprah

The rags-to-riches story of Oprah is certainly no secret – she’s shared it with the world many times. And it was literally rags, too: her grandmother was so poor that she had to wear potato sacks as a dress. Not as widely known is the fact that at the tender age of 14, Oprah gave birth to a child. Sadly, the baby did not survive. Happily, Oprah made it through the difficulties to become an incredible woman.

7. Jay-Z

Jay-Z’s secret is that he shot a man. Now before you start yawning and saying “so what?”, there’s more: the man was his own brother, and Jay-Z was only 12 years old when he pulled the trigger. Luckily for Mr. Z, his brother – a crack addict who had stolen Jay-Z’s ring – survived, realized the error of everyone’s ways, and refused to press charges. That’s family love.

8. Vin Diesel

Only XXX, Riddick, and Fast and the Furious star Vin Diesel could get away with playing (and loving) Dungeons & Dragons for over twenty years. That’s right – the gravel-tongued macho man is a massive role-playing geek. Just please don’t tell him we said that.

9. Jack Nicholson

It sounds like a plot setup straight out of The Hills Have Eyes. When Jack Nicholson turned 37, he made an earth-shattering discovery: his sister, June, who died when he was 9 and she 26, was actually his mother! But wait a second… who was that other mother, then?

10. Matthew Broderick

It’s hard to see how such a small man could hold on to such a big secret, but Matthew Broderick swears he doesn’t remember the day has caused a car accident that killed two people. Somehow, his car ended up in the wrong lane and collided head-on with a mother and daughter. And somehow, he walked away with a slap on the wrist and a $175 fine.

11. Charlize Theron

Sometimes the only way to defeat a terrible secret is to own it. When Charlize revealed that she had not only grown up at the hands of an abusive father in South Africa, but that her mother had killed her father in self-defense, we all quietly cheered her courage. Her admission was just another graceful moment in the life of an ever-shining star.

12. Shania Twain

Another one with a tough childhood, the Grammy Award winner Shania Twain has turned much of her hardships into solid gold. But there’s another weird twist in Shania’s life. After her husband divorced her and took up with her best friend, she ended up marrying her ex-husband’s new-lover’s (and ex-best-friend’s) ex-husband. We don’t remember a song about that one.

13. Woody Harrelson

They say you can’t pick your family, but we can bet that Woody Harrelson wouldn’t mind a second try. The versatile actor has one very black sheep in his: his dad, who was an assassin. In fact, for most of Woody’s life, his father was serving a maximum sentence in prison for performing a hit on U.S. District Judge John H. Wood. If that was our dad, we’d go around telling everyone.

14. Cameron Diaz

Cameron’s tried for years to have this secret buried, and she’s largely succeeded. To this day, not many people know that Cameron starred in a laughably 90s soft-core porn film. According to reports the then 19-year-old puts on some latex and does a lot of spanking, but not much else. It doesn’t sound too embarrassing – most music videos these days are raunchier than that.

15. Mariah Carey

There’s a long history of substance abuse in the glittering lights of Hollywood, but we though that Mariah would be above it all. It doesn’t seem that way, though. According to her legion of aides, the diva drinks so much, and so often, that they often do her make-up and hair when she’s passed out. Explains some of those costumes, actually.

16. Daniel Radcliffe

Mariah’s not the only one with a fondness for the hard stuff. Daniel Radcliffe, forever in our hearts as Harry Potter, is a closet alcoholic too – only he kept the secret better. We wouldn’t have known it except he revealed it himself recently, shocking tweens the world over. Apparently he started drinking as a way to fit into showbiz, but he clearly forgot the golden rule of celebs: deny, deny, deny.

17. Joaquin Phoenix

Infamous 1970s cult Children of God may have an innocent name, but behind the bible-bashing was a sordid system of brainwashing, “free love” (let’s call it), and a very sketchy practice called “flirty fishing”. What’s usually not mentioned is the fact that powerful actor Joaquin Phoenix – and the rest of the family – were members of the group for a number of years. Poor Joaquin was too young to know better.

18. Cher and Tom Cruise

Here’s one from the “bizarre and a little bit disturbing” vaults: Tom Cruise and Cher had a wildly passionate and very secret affair back in the 80s. And not with other people, either – with each other. It was so secret, in fact, that the truth of their odd-couple liaison (apparently, Tom Cruise is in Cher’s top-five list of lovers) didn’t come out until more than twenty years later. We can kind of understand the secrecy.

19. Arnold Schwarzenegger

There are very few celebrity secrets that stay hidden. That’s showbiz – somebody’s always looking to dig up some dirt on you. So it was certainly incredible that Arnie managed to keep his close-to-two-decades-long affair with his housekeeper hidden for all that time, but what was even more incredible was the fact that when the news finally broke, it was revealed that he had – and knew about – an illegitimate teenage son. Now that’s some tight lips.

20. Coco Chanel

The French have got a somewhat infamous (and never-dying) reputation surrounding their role in World War II. But while some resisted and some gave up, none quite match the founder of fashion empire Chanel’s, who was actually a long-time Nazi collaborator and spy. This dirty little secret has long been glossed over, of course, and the French still love their countrywoman.

21. Tobey Maguire

Long before Tobey Maguire could buy every member of his family a mansion, his father worried daily about how he could afford to look after them. Unfortunately, he decided on the dumbest course of action: robbing a bank. Without a disguise, a getaway vehicle, or even a gun, Tobey’s dad was arrested pretty much straight away and served two years in jail. In embarrassment, Tobey’s turned to slightly more legitimate means of making money.

22. Ricky Gervais

More shockingly bad than just shocking, British king of comedy Ricky Gervais used to be in a New Wave electronic duo. Called Seona Dancing, whatever that means. After that strange phase, he’s found far more success writing hit TV shows like The Office and Extras. Although Filipinos might disagree – one of his songs became an underground anthem in South East Asia.

23. Keith Richards

While this one might not come as quite a surprise, it’s still not something you’d go around telling people. You see, legendary rocker (and partier) Keith Richards once admitted to, uh, snorting his father’s ashes. When the rumors surfaced, he was all too happy to admit that he had “ground him up with a little bit of blow”. Um… ew? Would you mind keeping that secret to yourself next time?

24. Laura Bush

You might be forgiven for thinking that one-time First Lady Laura Bush’s worst crime was supporting George W. But she’s got a far more sordid secret than that. When she was 17, she ran a stop sign and smashed into another car, killing the friend who was driving it. At least George W. is probably still clueless.

25. Tim Allen

If you think our stars get a more than fair wage, then think again. Consider the story of Tim Allen, the comedian and actor who starred in Home Improvement and The Santa Clause. Clearly he wasn’t earning enough, since in the late 70s he was busted trying to smuggle a pound and a half of cocaine. After three years in the clink, he decided to stick to a more fruitful career.

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