Utah Senator Claims Pornography is Dangerous and is a Public Health Crisis

Charlie Blacks II February 9th 2016 Other
We’ve seen a lot of politicians battle strange causes… for instance Nixon and the war on drugs. Unfortunately, now we have light up our hasheesh in the privacy of our own homes with the windows up and the curtains closed. Plus, it seems like America is self-imploding as the issue increases with over-the-counter and pharmaceutical drugs killing more people than ever but yet continues to be a very profitable asset to the American economy. We also have the climate war issues that we probably shouldn’t have blown off when Al Gore brought it to our attention… Sorry about that Al, we’ll make it up to him by recycling our beer cans and bottles from this past Super Bowl weekend. There’s also, George W. Bush’s ‘War on Iraq’ and we all know how that ended… Now we have Utah Senator, Todd Weiler, who wants to launch America’s next big war... but this time we’re not fighting a terrorist, or drugs… we’re fighting… pornography.
That’s right ladies and gentlemen, you saw it for yourself, Todd Weiler may be the biggest terrorist in office… at least in the eyes of every teenage boy in America. Weiler is claiming that porn causes ‘societal harm and perpetuates a sexually toxic environment.’ We think that porn causes relief and has saved a multitude of relationships in it’s own gross kind of way. In some ways, Weiler has a point, with all of the energy expended from laptops and phones pornography could lead to a potential energy crisis. Not to mention the amount Kleen-ex being used for these ‘party times’ causing irreparable damage to the environment by forcing companies to clear out forest for more paper production. Seriously… Weiler may have a point. But then again he may be an extremist because he claims that pornography ‘leads to violence towards women and children with sex and pain with pleasure’ and ‘lessening desire in young men to marry, dissatisfaction in marriage, and infidelity.’ We definitely don’t want people thinking violence towards women and children is ok, but we really don’t have a problem with young men not wanting to marry or infidelity. *shrug* Sorry ladies. In all seriousness though, this issue does lead to a generation’s lack of social skills, emotional empathy, understanding, and connectivity to those they share intimacy with, but we wouldn’t consider this a political problem.
Weiler did admit that he wasn’t trying to get rid of porn all together though, here’s what he said to NBC News, “I am not trying to ban pornography… What I am saying is we have taken steps to protect people from tobacco, but we haven't done that for pornography.” He has a point, but we think his concerns with the wank bank profiters is that Utah is the highest consumer of online pornography. We have a feeling if the state wasn’t so religiously strict, maybe people wouldn’t find it necessary to hide their hidden desires while staring at a screen with Skin Diamond plastered all over it. For those of you in Utah and you think you may have a problem, put the laptop down and go outside. We know it’s pretty bright outside but you’ll get the hang of it. Hey, you might even get a girlfriend out of it if you stand out there long enough.


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